How to stop breaking promises to yourself

If you want to stop breaking promises to yourself, redefine commitment and your mindset around negative emotions.

The Flourish team

This post is for you if you’re someone who often…

  • Plans to spend Sunday afternoon meal prepping, but ends up watching Netflix instead.
  • Puts workouts on her calendar and then cancels.
  • Sets goals at the beginning of the year and then forgets all about them.

This pattern is so defeating. It corrodes your trust in yourself and wears down your self-confidence.

And, the worst part is, it’s cyclical, intensifying at every turn.

You make a promise to yourself → you feel good → you break the promise → you feel bad → you make a different promise → you feel good again because it’ll be different this time →you break that promise too → you feel even worse → you think about making another, different promise → you decide against it because you’ve never kept these promises in the past → you stop committing to yourself → you stop acting altogether → you feel unsatisfied, but the limiting belief of “I can’t commit” is keeping you stuck.

Here’s the thing.

This thought: “I can’t commit.”

It’s total BS.

Sure, you may not be committed to yourself. But you’re still committed to something.

Maybe you’re committed to other people, putting everyone else’s needs before your own.

Or maybe the absence of self-commitment has left you committed… To nothing.

So if the commitment is there, why is it being directed toward the wrong thing?


Fear of failure. Fear of leaving your comfort zone. Fear of the unknown.

And no matter the flavor of your fear, it all boils down to fearing a negative emotion.

You fear what emotions will come from failure. Or the emotions that will come up when you leave your comfort zone or venture through the unknown.

You fear a negative emotion, so you don’t commit to yourself.

But your lack of commitment leaves you stuck. Unsatisfied. Discontent. Unhappy.

Do you know what that means?

You’re already experiencing negative emotions.

Get it?

You’re not committing to yourself because you’re fearful of the negative emotions that commitment may bring up. But you’re already experiencing negative emotions where you are today.

We go through sooo many negative emotions to avoid experiencing a negative emotion. And we’re totally unaware of the fact that we’re doing it. It’s nuts.

So here’s what you’re up against:

Sometimes hard is just hard. You have to choose your hard.

It’s hard to stay stuck and experience the negative feelings that come along with standing still.

It’s hard to grow and feel the negative feelings that will bubble up during that journey.

Choose. Your. Hard.

Headshot of Claire Siegel
Claire Siegel
Co-founder, CEO
Claire Siegel is the founder and CEO of Flourish. Claire has made it her life’s mission to help women create a sustainable approach to their physical and mental well-being.
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